05 Jan Declutter your life!
Decluttering- Making time for meaningful friendships and Making time for yourself.
Welcome to 2018.
The year of no apologies.
I’ve selected a number of topics which I believe would help start the year right.
Some people believe that clutter only exists within the drawers of the home or on the floor of your closet.
Nope. Clutter can be in your phone, your emails and your fridge. Clutter exists in your heart even. You just don’t know it.
We’re going to start with a different kind of clutter…..
Good friends are one of life’s greatest joys….. But remember people change over time (ourselves included!) and friendships are voluntary
In our crazy-busy lives, many of our friendships have been reduced to fleeting encounters on social media, and it seems to be harder than ever to find time to devote energy to the friends we truly value and care about.
One way to free up time to enjoy more meaningful friendships is to be more discerning about who you spend your time with.
A friend audit means deciding who you really want in your life, and those you should let go. Like decluttering, it can be quite a purgative process, bringing a newfound sense of freedom and space.
The following few tips should help you get started.
• Review your phone contacts
Scroll through your phone contacts, dwell on each name, thinking about how you became friends and whether the friendship is still working for you. Be honest, and if they’re no longer in tune with your values or interests, the friendship is one-sided, or they’re just not the kind of friend you want any more, delete.
Actually, maybe don’t delete. Just put a star next to their name. This saves you from the whole, “new phone, who this?” Drama.
• Declutter your Facebook and instagram friends
Having lots of friends on Facebook or instagram can be fun, but if you’re just friending to boost your numbers, keep in mind that people you don’t really know or trust can clog your feed with rubbish, waste your time, and even expose you to spam or privacy risks. So, go to your Profile, scroll to Friends and click See All. Decide who you trust and want to genuinely stay friends with, and for all the others click ‘Remove from friends’ or unfollow.
If you’re private, Block and limit those who only expose you to being talked about by others.
• Learn how to respectfully decline an invitation
For some, it’s very difficult to decline invitations, but life’s too short to spend valuable personal time doing things you don’t really want to do with people you don’t really want to be with. It’s okay to politely decline an invitation.
For example, i hardly honor two simultaneous invitations from one person unless you’re on my “I can’t breathe without you” list.
So, I would hardly go for one person’s traditional and white wedding within a week. I mean, each one requires a change of wardrobe, make up, tailoring, shoes and transportation, not to talk of taking out of my precious time I could have spent reading a good book, cuddling with my kids or creating my next upcycling masterpiece.
Politely decline without compromising on your friendship. I will come to your engagement, but I can’t make the white wedding. You actually don’t need an excuse.
You come first.
• Go gently
Sometimes simply pulling back on your efforts to maintain a fading friendship is enough, but if someone keeps contacting you and/or you feel the need to talk to them about it, be honest, diplomatic and kind. People change and drift apart, it’s a part of life, but everyone will feel better if you manage it with kindness and respect. Now, some people don’t deserve to have their feelings hurt, so be sure to be tactful in your delivery. It’s not you, it’s me. I’m looking out for no 1 might be enough. ( Do so at your own risk).
Being selective about who you spend time with is something you’ll get better at over time. That’s because you’ll come to enjoy having the space to form and nurture deeper and more meaningful friendships.
And best of all, making the time means you can always be there for the people who really matter…